he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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