I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I understand Curling. That high.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
