you lied. pity sex is amazing.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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