I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
