We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
