Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
