Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
