i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
