I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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