My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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