she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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