He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
