listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize