After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
