her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
sex in a hospital.. check
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
