So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
