Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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