she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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