im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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