he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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