***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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