It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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