She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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