? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
