Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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