Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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