it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize