sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize