So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
