he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
