How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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