i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
