yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
