She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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