low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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