so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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