dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
