I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
