under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Randomize
