he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Randomize
