Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize