I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
