Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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