That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
