OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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