This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You ate ashes out of my bong
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
