mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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