wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
