mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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