I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
