This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
