And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize