You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Randomize
