She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
