is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
