U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
