Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
