i don't like sucking hair
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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