The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
