i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
